by | last updated on October 23, 2017

50 Weird Florida Laws Blue Image with State mapAs a criminal defense lawyer here in sunny Fort Lauderdale, Florida, I have seen a huge variety of cases.

But…

Sometimes the law can just be a bit weird too. For example:

Remember that time when…

Florida essentially banned all computers and mobile phones back in 2013?

Or even just recently how it has now become possible for any parents to file a complaint if they disagree with scientific theories taught in public schools?

That new law is being dubbed the “anti-science law” for good reason.

Well, there are plenty more strange and weird laws here in Florida.

And guess what?

I’ve gathered 50 of the weirdest and most outdated Florida laws for you right here.

But before we begin…

Want a quick list of the best “weird” Florida Laws?

Here’s an easy-to-read little infographic for you with my pick of the top 20:

snippet of top 20 weirdest laws

Want to save a copy of this list for later?
Click the button below.

Now…

Let’s check out the full list of Florida’s weirdest laws.

(My fav is #45.)

50+ of Florida’s most outdated and weird laws.

#1 Don’t mess with a man’s horse.

brown horse with white diamond shape on his head looks at camera

A little harsh? The punishment for stealing a horse in Florida is still death by hanging.

#2 The trouble with Parking…..

grey elepant with white background

Hate parking fines? Just remember that in Sarasota, Florida standard parking fees apply for elephants tied to parking meters. You could get a fine of $25 if you park your elephant for longer than the time limit. Or, if you leave your elephant in a disabled spot, it will cost you up to $250.

#3 The Fashion Police are Watching

A man with glasses wearing a red strapless dress and matching hat

No matter how great he looks, a man isn’t allowed to wear a strapless dress in Florida, in public. So guys, pick something over the shoulder when heading out.

#4 Orange the new… illegal substance?!

Oranges Over White background

It’s is illegal to sell oranges on the streets of Miami. In fact, you could spend up to 30 days in jail for hawking the orange colored citrus in the city.

#5 Does that mean you can get Skateboard DUI’s?

Young Girl Resting With yellow Skateboard

Strange but true. You aren’t allowed to skateboard in Florida without a proper license.

#6 No Kisses Below the Neck

Female Lips Closeup red lipstick

Did you know that the law prohibits you from kissing your wife’s breasts while in Florida? Or anyone else’s breasts for that matter.

#7 Be Free Little Piggy

pink Hungry Piglets with mum pig

There’s a statewide law about pigs. Know what it is? It is illegal to confine a pregnant pig to a cage. You learn something every day, right?

#8 No Kids on eBay

Newborn Baby on sheepskin rug

Something to keep in mind when deciding what to put on eBay. It is against the law to sell your kids in the state of Florida. No matter how noisy they can be.

#9 Singing is Banned in This Public Place.
Can you Guess Where?

Vintage Young Man Singing With Microphone On Unfocused Backgrou

There’s a reason you don’t see karaoke on the beach. Singing in public while wearing a bikini or swimming suit is against the law.

#10 Gossiping Can Get You Into Trouble

Close Up Of Business Executives Gossiping Together

Hey, did you know that it’s illegal to gossip in Oakland, Florida? (but, I don’t think people are talking about it…)

#11 No Celebrations Allowed Here

Portrait Of Couple With Champagne

Some traditional celebratory Champagne bottles are illegal in Florida. (maybe cause of their sizes) Which ones?: the Methuselah – 6 liters, the Salmanazar – 9 liters, the Balthazar – 12 liters and the Nebuchadnezzar – 15 liters!

#12 No Mater, You Can’t Stay Outside

red pickup truck toy with cookie in the back

If you’re a resident of Cape Coral, Florida, you can’t park your pickup truck in your driveway or even on the street in front of your home.

#13 Don’t Distract Drivers Near the Beach

Happy Young Girl In Topless, Eating A Watermelon

It’s against the law to walk (or run) topless within a 150 foot area between any beach and a street. Maybe they’re worried it will distract drivers…

#14 If You Flames, Report It

wooden house on fire at night

Is your neighbor’s house on fire? Better report it. Because, it’s illegal not to report a fire at your neighbor’s in Florida.

#15 This Law is So Cheesy

bowl of cottage cheese with leaf decoration

Cheese. Against the law?! Yes, it is. In Tampa Bay you’re prohibited from eating cottage cheese after 6 pm on a Sunday.
(Wonder what the punishment is?)

#16 No Monkey Business

Strong Superhero Monkey Man On Unfocused Background

Thinking of monkeying around? Keep in mind it’s illegal to imitate an animal while in the state of Florida.

#17 Which Way Does Your Door Swing?

open door digital image sunset background

This one makes sense if you think about it. In Florida, all doors on public buildings must open outward Why? – hint: hurricanes

#18 Ouch!… Really??

black porcupine on left looking to the right

.Shouldn’t it go without saying? You’re prohibited in Florida from having sex with a porcupine. Who would ever want to??

#19 Stop! You Have Broken this Law!

Not to make you feel guilty but you have likely broken the law if you live in Florida. Because it’s illegal to shower naked…

#20 Don’t Go Jumping Out of Planes

Beautiful Girl Jumping With Balloons On The Beach

Single and looking for a thrill? Too bad, unmarried women aren’t allowed to go parachuting on a Sunday. In fact, it’s punishable by arrest, fine or even jail time.

#21 You Need to Protect Those Chicks

Two baby chicks

Did you know chickens are considered a protected species in Key West? (Wonder how KFC gets away with it down there?)

#22 No Hanky Panky Out of Wedlock

It’s illegal for unmarried couples to live together and commit “lewd acts”. Btw, lewd means anything sexually offensive. (The punishment? A $500 fine or possibly up to 60 days in jail!)

#23 You Can’t Just Fall Asleep Anywhere

A woman rests on a yellow pillow

Think its ok to nap anywhere? Guess again. Women who make the mistake of dozing off while under a salon’s hair dryer may be fined. PLUS the salon owner can be fined too for allowing it.

#24 What’s THAT Supposed to Mean?

Frustrated Construction Worker

Sometimes the law can be vague. For example, did you know that it is illegal to commit “unnatural acts” with another person in Florida? What does that even mean?…

#25 Apparently Being a Bad Influence, Is Illegal.

man with comically long nose like pinnochio

“Corrupting the public’s morals” is technically a public nuisance and considered a misdemeanor offense. They should tell that to certain politicians…

#26 That’s No Fun, Florida.

Couple Trapped At The Bedroom

How dull! Out of the 245 sexual positions found in the karma sutra, only missionary position is technically legal in Florida.

#27 This Law Stinks

Portrait Of Young Man Smelling Closeup Photo

It’s illegal in Florida to fart in public after 6 pm. Whatever the punishment, I think it should be double when in elevators and restaurants.

#28 You Can’t Do That On A Bridge!

passing in a car over the Golden gate bridge

It’s not only hard to do, it’s against the law. If you try to go fishing while driving across a bridge, you could be arrested. That is NOT a challenge.

#29 They Even Give You Spending Money If You’re Caught??

white coash bus on highway in sunset

Prostitution is illegal in Florida. No surprise. But the punishment? A five-year banishment from Florida and a bus ticket out of town.  Plus, the offender is given spending money (really?).

#30 That’s not “Fine”

Although technically a fine, I felt it should make the list of weird laws. Hitting a pedestrian in Sarasota, Florida, results in a $78.00 fine. That’s it?

#31 Don’t Mix Drink & Drugs

In Daytona Beach, if you’re intoxicated, you’re prohibited from being under the influence of narcotics. Would that be a double DUI with a bonus offense? (Btw, call me if they ever try and charge you for that.)

#32 Rats!

white grey rate white background closeup

Somebody tell the rats. In Tampa Bay, the law prohibits rats to leave docked ships. Would that fall under immigration law?

#33 Greek Wedding Celebrations are Kind of Illegal

broken white plates and cups

In Florida it against the law to break more than three plates or dishes per day. OR to crack and/or chip the edges of more than four cups and saucers.

#34 That’s just wrong, when in Florida

Sorry everyone. Any form of oral sex is simply illegal in the State of Florida.

#35 Oh, Dear!

Please tell tourists and visiting family members, in Big Pine Key it is illegal to molest a Key deer, an endangered species of deer native to the Florida Keys.

#36 Dressed Wrong For The Occasion?

In Broward County – people working at a hot dog stand may not be “inappropriately attired”. Since when is it a black tie event to bun a dog?

#37 (Don’t) Hang in There!

Don’t air out your underwear in Cape Coral. Hanging your clothes outside on a clothesline is a violation according to city ordinance.

#38 They’re For Trash, Silly.

Man Throwing Plastic Bottle In Recycle Trash Can

As strange as it seems that this is an actual law, the molestation of trash cans is strictly forbidden in Daytona Beach.

#39 Caution to Careless Gardners

Pin Up Girl Holding Flower Pot With Yellow Daisies And Shovel

Also in Daytona Beach, it’s a public nuisance to own a flower pot (with water in it) that isn’t able to drain itself. Who’s wrote these laws?

#40 FIRE! (No, don’t)

A torpedo is fired from a battleship over the ocean

Meanwhile, in a city called Destin, it is illegal to set off torpedoes in the city. Just in case you had that in mind…

#41 Zero Ducks Given…

While we are in Destin, it is also illegal for Destin store owners to allow anyone to give out free baby ducks in front of their store.

#42 No Happy Feet in Hialeah

Graphic illustration of man with beard and bun walking brown labrador

Whereas in Hialeah, there seems to be law against happy walks. Strolling and/or ambling is considered a misdemeanor.

#43 Keep your bugs at home.

close up black ant on white background

Those looking for a new hobby in South East Florida, keep in mind that termite farms are prohibited within Miami’s city limits.

#44 Pigs Ahoy!

pig swimming in clear blue water with bird on his back

Talking about animals you can’t waltz around with in public, it’s illegal to bring your pet pig to the Miami Beach.

#45 A Strange Florida Sledding Law

Young Man On Sled Having Fun

In Palm Bay, where the average lowest temperature seen during winter is a cool 49.3°F, it is against the law to tow a snow sled behind your bicycle. Think about it for a minute.

#46 Being Broke MAY be a crime…

Supporting the economy! In Pensacola, people aren’t allowed to be downtown with less than $10 with them.

#47 Note even a Barrel of Laughs?

Old Wine Barrels In A Wine Cellar

It’s very much illegal in Pensacola to roll a barrel in the street. The fine you receive depends on what’s in the barrel.

#48 That’s shocking…. What, Too soon?

If you think you’re having a bad day, keep in mind that in Pensacola, Florida, a women, after being electrocuted to death in a bathtub from using self-beautification utensils, can receive a fine. After… death.

#49 All in the Name of Art

two performers dancing. Topless man holding up woman in red dres

In Sanford, a city with a population of just under 60,000 people, stage nudity is prohibited. Unless, if part of a “bona fide” theatrical stage performance.

#50 Whoa! Keep your Top On.

Western Girl topless in cowboy hat

While, in Tampa, Florida, Women are banned from revealing their breasts while providing “topless dances”. Any lap dances in the city must also be given from a minimum distance of 6 feet.

I hope you enjoyed our Florida State’s 50 Weird and Outdated laws.

How about your State?

Do you know any strange or weird laws traveling around the internet?

Or if you are in South Florida like me, have you come across any weird laws that this criminal defense lawyer missed?

Leave them in the comments below!

by Robert Malove

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